The Extravaganza

Every few months or so, a small group of civil servants from the Crystal Palace area, take a Friday off, and indulge in what is known as the 'Extravaganza'. This was described as 'a day of loafing around and boozing'. This sounded like something I could enjoy doing, and being currently a jobseeker, I had Friday free, and so I joined the merry band in Crystal Palace, to bring the numbers up to a respectable five.
The first event was a trip to the bookies to compete in the ten pound challenge. This involves placing bets on horses and dogs up to the value of ten pounds. Whoever wins the most money, gets the jackpot, which is everyone's winnings combined. Far be it from me to encourage gambling, but it was a very enjoyable activity! Nowadays, they even have virtual racing, and you can watch computer generated dogs running around on the screen. Personally, I think this is against the true spirit of dog racing, and I will have none of it. On this day, however, the real live, flesh and blood dogs were smiling on me (not literally), and I won the £57 jackpot.
After a few beers, the next stop was the bowling alley. I sucked at this big time, as they say, and came miserably last in the first frame (if it's called a frame). Things improved as I got drunker, and by the last frame I managed second place.
Moving swiftly on to a pub in Clapham, we then entered Infernos, which is a trashy club. After this, the time flew by, and the next thing you know, it was 3am, and I was waiting for the night bus. The bus took FOREVER to arrive, and I was there until about 4am. In the interim period, a woman had approached me and asked if I required any 'services'. 'What kind of services?', I ventured.
'A blow job? I'm really good at that.', she said. I politely declined, and continued waiting for the bus.
Finally, the bus actually showed up, but it only went to Camden, so I ended up walking from there, finally getting back just before 6am.
So, The Extravaganza was at an end, and I must make a confession. On the way home, I stole a newspaper from outside a newsagents in Camden, and I feel slightly guilty. So, if you are newsagent in Camden, and you had one less Saturday Guardian than you were supposed to... It was me. Sorry.